1. At the grocery store I found guacamole flavored dip. Not guacamole but guacamole FLAVORED dip. I was so excited because I love guacamole but I’m always like, “man I wish I could dip stuff in this.” Hopefully soon they’ll start making salsa-flavored dip or hummus flavored dip or French-onion-dip-flavored-dip.
2. I found a place with a deal where you get a chicken sandwich, fries and a fountain soda for $2.99, so I went. Then, while I was waiting they brought me chips and an assortment of dips for no extra charge. I left a two-dollar tip and thought, that’s right, I’m the guy who tips sixty-six percent.
3. I needed lime for something I was cooking so I went to the grocery store. They had a deal – 20 limes for a dollar. But I thought, twenty limes was too many. So I bought ten. Two weeks later I threw out nine and a half limes.
4. On the bus I passed a Thai Restaurant with a sign that said “Beer, Wine, BYOB.”
5. I rode the train to the Wrigley Field stop on a Cubs game day. Two middle-aged guys standing behind me were talking about sports. At one point one of the guys said, “You know what really helps baseball? A high definition television.” Another thing he could have said to make the same point is, “You know what sucks? Me.”
2. I found a place with a deal where you get a chicken sandwich, fries and a fountain soda for $2.99, so I went. Then, while I was waiting they brought me chips and an assortment of dips for no extra charge. I left a two-dollar tip and thought, that’s right, I’m the guy who tips sixty-six percent.
3. I needed lime for something I was cooking so I went to the grocery store. They had a deal – 20 limes for a dollar. But I thought, twenty limes was too many. So I bought ten. Two weeks later I threw out nine and a half limes.
4. On the bus I passed a Thai Restaurant with a sign that said “Beer, Wine, BYOB.”
5. I rode the train to the Wrigley Field stop on a Cubs game day. Two middle-aged guys standing behind me were talking about sports. At one point one of the guys said, “You know what really helps baseball? A high definition television.” Another thing he could have said to make the same point is, “You know what sucks? Me.”
2 comments:
This is perfect. My favorite is the sixty six percent tip. Also, this post is weirdly just like the new blog I just started. I will totally put you on my friends list if you do the same (or even if you don't.)
Regards,
Russell-formerly-Rose Melia
Oh, it's called remains of the gay.
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