Sunday, August 17, 2008

A week of dating website headlines

MONDAY

His - Club Rules: The best things to say, do and wear if you want to pick up women at the club tonight.

Hers - Sleaze Louise: How to avoid sketchy guys who are at the club just to pick you up.

TUESDAY

His - Evading her Evasion: Five essential moves to keep that girl at the club from saying “adios amigo!”

Hers - Get To the Point and Get On With Your Night: Why being straightforward and firmly telling him that you’re just not interested is often the best option.

WEDNESDAY

His - Reading Between the Lines: What she really means when she firmly tells you that she’s just not interested.

Hers - Now You See Me, Now You Don’t: Where to find hidden exits and trap doors in the hottest clubs in the city.

THURSDAY

His - You Can Run but You Can’t Hide: The seven most important pieces of information to get before she bolts, so that you can use the internet and your local police department to track her down.

Hers - Where in the World: Our top ten relocation destinations for when you’re avoiding the weird guy from last night who just won’t give up.

FRIDAY

His - This is your Pilot Speaking: How to find the cheapest flights so you can visit that special someone who barely even knows you.

Hers - Making The New Me: The easiest ways to change your hair color, eye color, name and fingerprints so he won’t even recognize you.

SATURDAY

His - Seeing Through Her: The quick and simple way to build a makeshift lie-detector to see if she is who you think she is.

Hers - The Life of a Hermit is the Life for Me: Choosing the best cave in the best mountain when he’s found you everywhere else.

SUNDAY

His - There’s Gold in Them There Hills: Why taking up hiking or mountain-climbing could be your ticket to meeting the woman of your dreams.

Hers - Reclusive Exclusive: Six fun things to do by yourself instead of going to the club tonight and spending the rest of your life running away the guy that just won’t give up.