A Glass of Water -
If I were a glass of water someone would drink out of me and when he had drank half of my contents I would not say that I am half empty or half full. I would say that the level of water within me is at the midway point between my top and my bottom because then people wouldn’t know if I was a optimist or a pessimist and I would have an air of mystery about me.
A Chair -
If I were a chair I would know a lot about asses.
My Dad -
If I were my dad I would wake up and have so many fucking things to deal with because I am the only one who does anything around here and I don’t have time for anything to go wrong and everything is going wrong and I wish someone would help me out for once but whenever anyone tries to help me out they mess it up more because I don’t have the time or the patience to explain it to them in words they understand and I have so many fucking things to deal with because I am the only one who does anything around here.
A Nude Model -
If I were a nude model I would only model for abstract painters. Then I would show their paintings to my family and friends and they would have no idea that they were looking at naked pictures of me.
Vexillology -
If I were vexillology I would always have to look myself up in the dictionary to remind myself that I am the scientific study of flags.
A Construction Site -
If I were a construction site I would smell very industrial and attract strange, burly men to work at me.
A Bird -
If I were a bird I would laugh at the birds that flew into windows.
If I were a glass of water someone would drink out of me and when he had drank half of my contents I would not say that I am half empty or half full. I would say that the level of water within me is at the midway point between my top and my bottom because then people wouldn’t know if I was a optimist or a pessimist and I would have an air of mystery about me.
A Chair -
If I were a chair I would know a lot about asses.
My Dad -
If I were my dad I would wake up and have so many fucking things to deal with because I am the only one who does anything around here and I don’t have time for anything to go wrong and everything is going wrong and I wish someone would help me out for once but whenever anyone tries to help me out they mess it up more because I don’t have the time or the patience to explain it to them in words they understand and I have so many fucking things to deal with because I am the only one who does anything around here.
A Nude Model -
If I were a nude model I would only model for abstract painters. Then I would show their paintings to my family and friends and they would have no idea that they were looking at naked pictures of me.
Vexillology -
If I were vexillology I would always have to look myself up in the dictionary to remind myself that I am the scientific study of flags.
A Construction Site -
If I were a construction site I would smell very industrial and attract strange, burly men to work at me.
A Bird -
If I were a bird I would laugh at the birds that flew into windows.
1 comment:
If I were a bird I would land on people's shoulders and make them feel ridiculously inviting and hospitable. The world would be a better place if it were full of people who thought they appealed to birds as safe and special people to land on.
I would also be an ostrich.
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