Pun Specialist Needed – small, ridiculously successful company of young attractive people looking for a guy to hang out in our office and make puns out of things people say. Candidate must have four years pun-making experience but need not have any way to prove it. Other responsibilities include asking people if you can have a bite of their lunch.
Director of Responsibility – Awesome spy agency looking for a normal guy with no spy experience to take responsibility for everything we do. Other responsibilities include driving a agency-provided sports car/helicopter to the office everyday. Salary: four sweet-ass mansions/year.
Struggling Writer – Swanky coffee shop seeking struggling writer for atmosphere. Writer must sit at a table with his Mac, write and show general signs of deep contemplation, such as the scratching of the chin and mumbling intensely. Other responsibilities include ordering coffee and referring to your novel in cell phone conversations with your “agent.” Dark-rimmed prescription eye wear preferred but not required. Pays $900/week; $200 bonus for every customer that asks, “Is he a writer?”
Database Manager – An internet database of videos that are too sexy for kids is looking for motivated individual to join our team. As database manager you will be in charge of finding sexy videos, watching them all the way through and then emailing us a link so we can add it to our database. Other responsibilities include bookmaking especially sexy videos. Pays two hundred dollars per video found.
Director of Responsibility – Awesome spy agency looking for a normal guy with no spy experience to take responsibility for everything we do. Other responsibilities include driving a agency-provided sports car/helicopter to the office everyday. Salary: four sweet-ass mansions/year.
Struggling Writer – Swanky coffee shop seeking struggling writer for atmosphere. Writer must sit at a table with his Mac, write and show general signs of deep contemplation, such as the scratching of the chin and mumbling intensely. Other responsibilities include ordering coffee and referring to your novel in cell phone conversations with your “agent.” Dark-rimmed prescription eye wear preferred but not required. Pays $900/week; $200 bonus for every customer that asks, “Is he a writer?”
Database Manager – An internet database of videos that are too sexy for kids is looking for motivated individual to join our team. As database manager you will be in charge of finding sexy videos, watching them all the way through and then emailing us a link so we can add it to our database. Other responsibilities include bookmaking especially sexy videos. Pays two hundred dollars per video found.
2 comments:
I'll be in touch about the struggling writer position as soon as I start my coffee shop
A job that you are also qualified for would be: writing humorous things for people who like to read humorous things. Actually, I think you already have that job, and they just haven't told you that you're supposed to be paid for it.
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